Thursday, January 13, 2011

Chapter 10- Hallelujah

*We're back to Bella's POV*


Home. I called his home, home. And he didn’t even freak out, he smiled. The past few days have been heaven, but I want to stop playing fantasy land and start living my life. I thought that I didn’t know what my life was anymore, but I do now. In fact, I am absolutely positive that I will spend the rest of my life loving Edward. I just need to figure out the details. Where will I live? Where will I work? When does school start? I can make long distance work, I did it with Jake, and I didn’t even want Jake the way that I want Edward. I can not even begin to think of leaving him, let alone staying away from him for any length of time. The scary part of it is that I know that I have to do it. I have to do this for myself. Of course there is the voice in the back of my mind, telling me that Edward is made for me. So does being with him count as doing something for me? Because damn, he does things to me. Many, many fan-fucking-tastic things.

“So, here we are and as soon as the door opens, the vacation bubble will burst. Are you ready for that?” Edward asks, flashing me the panty melting smirk that I love so much.

“I think I am actually. I’m ready to be home. Wanna share your home with me, Eddie?” I gasp as I realize what I’ve said and wonder if he caught it.

“Um... yeah actually I do, Bella. I really want to share my home with you. All you have to do is stay, baby girl.”

I lean across the center console and brush my lips against his. “We can’t do this again, honey. I don’t want to talk about leaving, I just want to be here with you right now. Can we please just be?”

“Yeah, we can do that,” he answers, as he opens the door and makes his way to my side of the car to open the door for me. We make our way to the room with our packages in hand.

“Well, well, well. Look what the cat dragged in.” We turn together and find Emmett leaning against the side of the building. “Where the hell have you guys been? Rosie was starting to lose her mind! She was convinced that Tink took you away and we’d never see you again. Personally, I wasn’t worried, I mean if Tink wanted to take me away I might just go,” He says and winks at me.

I can’t help but smile as he runs up to meet us at Edward’s door. “Hey, Em, did you miss me?” I bat my eyelashes at him. “I would never steal Edward away from Rose... Well, I’d at least get her permission first. I’m kind of scared of her,” I say with a wink.

Edward pulls me into the room and shuts the door without a single word to his brother in law, and it doesn’t escape my notice. “What was that about, love? Why are you not talking to Emmett?”

“I’m not NOT talking to Emmett, I’m just not ready for the Spanish inquisition that was about to start. I’m sure that he and Rose have been sitting around here since we left, thinking of stuff to ask us. Although, I want to shout my feelings for you from the roof top, I don’t want to have to tell the story twice. We can talk to them when Rosalie gets off work tonight.” He runs his hands from my shoulders to my wrists as he continues. “In the mean time, I need a nap. Care to join me?”

I feel the blush color my cheeks and the smile on his lips grows. “Actually, I really, really, would like to join you. If you don’t mind,” I whisper and he scoops me up into his arms and makes his way to the bathroom. The nap is forgotten as the door shuts behind us.
      
xoxo~xoxo~xoxo~xoxo~xoxo~xoxo~xoxo~xoxo

We eventually make our way out of the shower when the water started to run cool. We even got into bed and cuddled until we fell asleep. I have discovered that I love sleeping in his arms, and it always produces the sweetest dreams. Until the banging on the door started, I was dreaming of singing in the car with Edward and visions of home. I can feel Edward tense around me, and I know that he is trying to stay asleep. I rub his back as I try to aid in his quest for slumber. I begin to drift back off to sleep. I hear the front door slam and Rosalie makes her presence known, loudly.

“I hope you’re dressed kids, because I’m coming in!”

Edward grabs the blankets and pulls it up over our heads as I giggle into his chest. “Save yourself, B! I’ll hold her off as long as I can!” he shouts in an exaggerated effort to add some humor to the slightly uncomfortable situation.

“Is this funny to you, Edward? That I have to come barging in here, unannounced with the key on file just to see for myself that you’re still alive? It’s been two days asshole. You scared the shit out of me!” She huffs and drops onto the edge of the bed.

“Are you done overreacting, Rosie? Because if you think about it, it is fairly ridiculous that you were worried. You could have called me.” Edward answers and smirks at me still under the cover of the blanket.

“I did call you, smartass! You never answered your phone. What if there was an accident and you were lying dead in a ditch somewhere, how would I even know?” I can hear the panic in her voice and I have to step in before Edward sends her over the edge.

I peek my head out from our little cave. “Rosalie, I’m sorry if we worried you, but we just kind of got caught up in each other. We really didn’t mean to scare you and I feel terrible that we did. The cell reception in the casino was horrible and we missed a lot of calls yesterday. I swear that we were not purposely ignoring you. In fact I bought you a gift to show my appreciation for our new friendship. I’ll give it to you when we meet for dinner tonight at the diner,” I say with a smile before I throw the blanket back over my head.

“Fine, Bella, I’ll meet you guys for dinner tonight. Only because I can’t sit here any longer wondering if you and my baby brother are naked in the same bed that I am sitting on at this very moment. Ugh. It’s making me throw up a little in my mouth.” She makes a gagging noise as she stands to make her way out of the room.

“Seven o’clock, Rose!” Edward shouts after her before wrapping his arms around me again. “Try and sleep some more, Bella. You’ll need your strength to make it through dinner.
      
xoxo~xoxo~xoxo~xoxo~xoxo~xoxo~xoxo~xoxo


Seven o’clock on the dot, Edward and I are walking into the dinner hand in hand. He’s wearing my favorite jeans and gray t-shirt, and I decided on my black and white apron dress and my sparkly converse. We look pretty cute. He holds the door open for me to walk a head of him, and I see Emmett wave us over to a booth in the back. We make our way back to the table as Rose crosses her arms over her chest and lifts her eyebrow at me.

“Hey, Rosalie. How’s it going? We missed you guys, but we had a really great trip. I’ve never really been to Vegas before and my Edward pulled out all the stops. It was so much fun,” I ramble nervously.

Rosalie practically jumps across the table, and grabs one of my hands and one of Edwards. She stares at them, turning them over before dropping them with a sigh. Edward snatches my hand and drops it into my lap.

“Jesus, Rose! We aren’t married! Cut it out!” he says through clenched teeth, as Emmett and I exchange wide eyed stares. “Not yet, anyway. She’s never seen Vegas before and I love Vegas. I wanted to show her why. That’s all. Well, that and the fact that i wanted her all to myself. No unannounced visitors, no interruptions.” He glares at his sister. Emmett puts his fist out in front of him and Edward hits it with his own.

“Hell, yeah little bro. That’s what I’m talking about.”

“Ew Emmett! Knock it off!” Rose says,  as she smacks him in the back of the head.

“Aww... come on Rosie. You’re the one who caught them getting it on in the back of the truck. You know that little Eddie here is sticking it to Tinkerbella. What’s the big deal?” He snickers as he throws his massive arm around Rosalie’s shoulders.

“EMMETT!” Rose and I scream at the same time, causing more than a few people to look in our direction.

I can’t just sit and listen anymore and I hope they don’t expect me to. “Alright! Enough already! Yes, Edward and I got naked in the back of your truck, and yes we did things to each other in Vegas that are not suitable dinner conversation, but that’s not all we did. We went to M&M World for Christ’s sake! I spent an obscene amount of money in Louis Vuitton and Juicy. I got you some gorgeous earrings, by the way, Rose. Edward showed me his Vegas and I had the best time I think I’ve ever had. Ever. So let’s not cheapen that with fist bumps and silly innuendo. Let me enjoy it, damn it.” I huff and copy Rosalie’s posture.

A smile forms on her pink lips. “I knew I liked her,” she says as she elbows Emmett in the ribs.

The three of us laugh uncontrollably for the few minutes it takes for the food to arrive. And the conversation becomes easy and light.

“So if you bought my girl earrings, did you get me anything?” Emmett asks with a smile.

Edward answers before I can. “Yeah, man. We got you a shit ton of candy.”

Emmett pretends to wipe a tear from his eye. “Damn, you guys really know the way to my heart.”

We eat and chat. The boys finish their meals first. Emmett insists on showing Edward some new gadget that they have in the kitchen, and they leave us to our own devices. I decide this is my chance to have a serious talk with Edward’s sister. Maybe I can get some answers to a few questions that I have.

“Edward told me about Ben and Tanya,” I whisper and Rosalie stops chewing to stare at me. “He was a mess, and I was scared that I wouldn’t be able to comfort him. But we got through it and he told me that he loves me. He asked me to be his girlfriend, I said yes , of course. It was really sweet,” I say it all in one breath and strangely enough Rose hasn’t moved a muscle. So I keep talking. “I love him, too. I’m scared, Rose.”

Finally the ice melts and I see her expression soften. “What are you scared of, Bella?”

“I’m scared that this is all happening too fast. That maybe he didn’t really mean everything he said that night. That he’ll want to take it all back. I’m mostly afraid that I fell in love with him the moment I met him, while I was still engaged to someone else, and some how that negates the whole thing. I’m scared that I don’t deserve him, and that I won’t be able to help him with his grief. That me leaving will only add to it. Should I list more?”

“No, don’t list anymore. That’s all I think I can handle. Listen to me, Bella. If Edward says he loves you, then he loves you. He isn’t going to take it back. He doesn’t let anyone in, ever. Believe me. I am amazed that he said it and that he lets you touch him. He isn’t like other guys, he doesn’t kiss or hug, or hold hands. He has spent the last five years believing that he doesn’t deserve to be loved. I was worried for him. The you show up and change everything. Edward is brand new since you’ve been here. He smiles and laughs. Bella he’s talking about the future. He’s talking about a future with you. It’s kind of incredible and I love you for it. So don’t be scared. Love him back with all of your heart. Take care of each other. Everything else will work itself out.” She smiles at me and her shiny eyes match mine.

“Thank you, Rose. I do love him and I feel lucky to have found him. I don’t plan on letting him go, ever. I just don’t want to rush into this.” I suddenly find my finger nails fascinating.

“Rush into it? Bella, you just spent 24 hours in bed with him after jumping his bones in the back of my truck. You already rushed into it. Now all you have to worry about is not letting the fairytale run away with you.” She smiles at me and it’s genuine.

The boys make their way back to us, carrying a huge ice cream sundae with four spoons. Rose and I squeal and dig in. Edward feeds me and licks chocolate off of the corner of my mouth. It’s delicious and the ice cream isn’t bad either.

“So beautiful Bella, what’s the plan? Will you be a permanent fixture at Casa de Eduardo or what?” Emmett asks and all eyes are instantly on me.

“Well we haven’t set any final plans, but it looks like I’ll be here for another few days before I head back to San Diego.” I feel Edward’s eyes on me, but he doesn’t speak.

“Days? But Tink, what will we do with out you?” Emmett pouts.

“Em, I have to get back to school and get my stuff back to my apartment. Everything I own is in my car, I’m homeless right now. Don’t worry though, you can’t get rid of me that easily.” I wink at him.

Finally Edward speaks and takes my breath away. “Bella will be back soon, Em. This is her home, she’s my life now. I won’t let her get away.” And right then, in that second, I believe that he is telling the truth.

That night as Edward and I laid in his bed, memorizing each other’s bodies and swallowing each other’s breaths, I couldn’t even imagine ever being without him again. Tears slip down my cheeks and I feel the moment that Edward finds them there. He brushes his thumbs under my eyes, and kisses my cheeks.

“Why are you crying, love? Are you okay?” Edward says against my throat.

“I’m fine. I just can’t get out of my head right now. I feel like I already miss you. Being with you like this makes me not want to go anywhere. I love you, Edward. Promise me that this isn’t the end.”

“Shh, Bella. No tears in my bed, remember? This isn’t the end. You can take that to the bank, baby. I’m in this for as long as you’ll have me, and probably a little longer than that.” He chuckles and runs his nose from my collar bone to my chin.

“That wasn’t a promise, Eddie. Promise me.” I breathe.

“I promise you, Bella. Forever.”

With that the slow, sweet movements turn needy and frantic. I don’t want this to feel like good bye, so I am determined to make it feel like what Edward promised me and what he promised was forever. My longing for him is strange to me and makes me have to rethink all of my  past philosophies. I don’t feel like wanting to be with him is a bad thing, and I believe him when he tells me that he loves me. I get lost in his touches, and I feel like it’s safe to do so. I want to make him smile and I want to please him, and I don’t feel like that makes me weak. In fact giving my heart and my trust to him makes me stronger. Maybe this is what love feels like. It’s drowning and being saved, it’s wanting to crawl into his skin and never come out. I want to give myself over to that feeling. I want to let go of all the fears I have and just love him with everything that I have, and in that moment, I do.




“Somehow every thing's gonna fall right into place
If we only had a way to make it all fall faster everyday
If only time flew like a dove
Well God, make it fly faster than I'm falling in love

This time we're not giving up
Let's make it last forever
Screaming, hallelujah
We'll make it last forever

Holding onto patience wearing thin
I can't force these eyes to see the end
If only time flew like a dove
Well, we could watch it fly and just keep looking up

This time we're not giving up
Let's make it last forever
Screaming, hallelujah
We'll make it last forever

And we've got time on our hands
Got nothing but time on our hands
Got nothing but, got nothing but
Got nothing but time on our hands

This time we're not giving up
Oh, let's make it last forever
Screaming, hallelujah, hallelujah”
Paramore - Hallelujah

No comments: